...experienced life.

 

Grace: We expected to experience tragedy throughout our service here. We expected to see sadness, have pain, and feel helpless. I know I focused on the possibilities pre-departure, preparing myself for that moment or those times. I experienced it all today. Arriving at Babe Shabangu's funeral at dusk I saw the family that we have grown to love grieving over the loss of a great man. I have never felt pain as deeply as today when trying to console a 19 year old girl who was burying her father. Helplessness overwhelmed me as I listened to the sobs of those I loved first here in Swaziland. It was horrible. It was hard. However, I failed myself and I failed others. I focused on the tragedy awaiting me, unable to see the beauty that would find me. You see, arriving at Babe Shabangu's funeral at dusk I saw the family that we have grown to love surrounded by 250+ people who showed up to love and love well.  I have never felt pain as deeply as today until I listened to a 19 year old grieving for her father remind me that God is good all the time. Helplessness overwhelmed me as I listened to the sobs of those I loved first here in Swaziland, but hope flooded in when songs of praise and worship echoed across the valley. It was horribly beautiful. There was so much awe in today that I still am unable to decide if I have been crying for grief or crying for glory. I guess there is tragedy and beauty in trying to find the answer. I hated today and I loved today, and I find peace in knowing that it is okay.
 

* * *
Sean: Well I don't think I can say it any better than Grace just did but I'll try to give a brief recap of the funeral process to show how this culture turns death into love, connectedness, and beauty. Grace and I arrived at the Shabangu homestead at 5:15am, at 5:25am we heard one of our bosisi give a short speech, and by 5:30am, our sisi had found us to share a big hug and find comfort in Grace's continual embrace. The homestead was the site of the night vigil, where members of the family and community stay up all night commemorating the deceased and celebrating life, all while praising the Lord. At 6:00am, the vigil was over, and it was time for the burial procession because Swazi's are usually buried at first light according to custom. The casket was taken from the homestead and placed in a van, as Make followed with the help of other bomake. Make was still in mourning attire, meaning her entire body was covered with no one being able to see her. Our sisi led Grace and I up the hill to the Shabangu graveyard all the while clutching Grace's hand. The graveyard is at what we assume is Babe's brother's homestead, and there we found a gravesite and tent already set up. We moved close to the graveside with our sisi and Grace wrapped her in another heartfelt hug as Babe's casket was removed from the van and lowered into the ground. The cries from the family blended with the songs of the 250+ community members who had also come to the graveyard creating the horrible beauty that Grace mentioned earlier. The Swazi hymns are almost angelic when sung by a loving yet grieving community, and it is very hard not to be overcome by all the emotion in the air. The pain of a mother and children burying their father balanced with the love and overwhelming respect of the entire community makes you think that Swazi's don't need us PCVs at all. Everything about this culture is beautifully communal and it all just felt right today. Painful, sorrowful, but right.

 

The bomake were called forward and Grace and I were both surprised I think when our sisi urged Grace to come with her. The casket is not allowed to touch the dirt in Swazi culture so the bomake brought forth blankets and grassmats to cover the casket. Then our sisi, Grace, and all the other bomake and bosisi took a handful of dirt and threw it in, a sign of respect and love for the deceased. After the bomake, the bobabe were called forward and Babe Musa with the Peace Corps took me forward to pay our respects. The men standing around the graveside parted to let us through and Babe Musa and I each  threw a few shovels of dirt to the side of the hole. It is the men's job at the burial to actually bury the body. Like with the bomake, when the men move the dirt it is a sign of love and respect for the deceased, and it is put just beside the grave to allow two men standing in the grave to distribute it and pack it down. Once Babe was buried, around 7:00am, everyone took a seat in the field and a representative from the family, babe's church, and the Umphakatsi each gave a short speech and prayer. Once they finished the men then stood for a final prayer before the service was ended. As everyone started to depart, I made my way over to the side of the grave where make was seated under the tent, and our sisi was still wrapped in the arms of Grace. I gave more bosisi hugs before I got the chance to talk to Make. Grace had already spoken to her following the procession of bomake earlier. By 7:30am we were back at the homestead, our sisi joining us the entire time. The family had prepared food for all the 250+ visitors and some of them walked away with a small takeaway headed back home. We stood with our sisi until it was time to go and we gave final hugs before promising to see them all in church tomorrow.

 

As Grace said it was all a horrible yet beautiful event, as we buried Babe Shabangu. We feel beyond blessed to have known him and learned from him these past several weeks, and we hurt because we have lost the man who first welcomed us, not only to his country, but also to his indescribably wonderful family. We will not ever forget the surprise and elation when he called home to Make telling her "we are two", nor the smile on his face when he told us we were family. It all comes back to what we have learned while staying with the Shabangu's though, and it is what Make and I talked about when I had the chance to see her today. We don't always know or understand God's plan, but we know that with Babe's death on Earth there is life in Heaven because our God is good...all the time.

...khuluma siSwati.

"I know not all that may be coming, but be what it will, I'll go to it laughing." - Herman Melville

 

I decided to take a break from studying Siswati to write this blog. If you have to know the truth I have taken many breaks within this study period. Desperate times call for desperate measures, honestly meaning this blog post has no purpose other than to waste some time. I hope something will evolve within the next few minutes that will be worthy of your time. Or, if like me you are avoiding something important than you are welcome, I am glad to be of help. I shall begin with this language called siSwati. Since this blog is intended to avoid my studying of siSwati I can feel your confusion. But who doesn't like a little irony ever now and again? So, siSwati. It is sort of hard. I will not lie and tell you that every day I am thrilled to be learning this language. Many days I am overly frustrated that every noun has a set of rules, that "s's" never make things plural, there is one spelled word meaning many things with unrecognizable pronunciation differences, and to say the color blue you say luhlata sasibhakabhaka. Truthfully, most Swazis speak English in Swaziland and love to do so with Americans. It is bad when your teacher everyday repeats the phrases, "this word is an exception" or "oh Siswati, it doesn't make any sense".

Woe is me right? So what is the point?  The reason is for the joyful laughter you get when we say sawubona make, unjani? The reason is for the complete surprise when you say Ngicela ematamatisi, emazambane, ne banyanisi to the bomake at the market. The reason is for, "You speak Siswati my friend!", "Ah you know Siswati!", "How?!", "You are Swazi!". It is undeniably unbelievable how happy it makes the residences of this beautiful country. We truly know only the slightest bit of their language and culture but it matters deeply. So I continue to pick up my books for only this reason. It might take this many letters- ngiyagcoke libhuluko lelimphunga- to say I wear grey pants or that the month of May is Inkhwekhweti. The verbs to look (buka), to buy on credit (bhuka), to bake (bhaka), and to watch (bukela) all sound the same coming out of a Swazi speaking native. But at the end of the day, after failing conversations over and over again, we take the smiles, laughs, and hugs as major wins. It is important to them, so it is important to us. It is as simple as that.

Niyabonga. Ngitawudadisa siSwati naylo ngobe ngibhale eblog ngingafundza. Angifuni kudadisa kepha ngikhona ngobe eSwatini kuna bantfu labalungile.

...finds us at a loss today.

Psalm 100:5 - For the Lord is good. His mercy is everlasting; and His truth endures to all generations. 

Last night we received terrible news. Our babe, Siza Shabangu, has passed away. We don't know and likely will not know his specific ailment, but he had been sick for the last couple weeks. We returned from church yesterday to find babe in considerable pain and make preparing to take him to the hospital. Babe had been to the hospital several times in the previous weeks and would vary between resting in bed days and talking to us from the sofa days. One of his daughters came in her car to get him around 3pm and we walked him to the car and he, make, and the daughter all went to Manzini for what Grace and I thought would be a checkup and possible admittance to the hospital. Later that evening around 10pm we got a knock on our door and found make leaning against the door frame. It was then that she told us “he is dead”.

Grace and I had prepared to witness death in our community when we joined the Peace Corps. We knew that in Southern Africa and in a land stricken with HIV/AIDS and TB, that the possibility of someone we knew in the community dying was quite real. However, we never could have expected for it to hit so early on, so close to home, and with someone so near and dear to our hearts. Babe Shabangu was the first Swazi we met with no affiliation to the Peace Corps. He was the one who came and took us home and gave us our names “Mvuselelo and Nomvuselelo” (meaning revival in siSwati), he was our first challenge with siSwati, and he was the only one to always ask first in siSwati and then translate for “his children” in English. He was my first major experience with the language barrier when he and I had a thirty minute conversation about the fact that beef came from dead cows. Babe was truly our father, his wife truly our make, and all his children truly our bosisi and bobhuti. Words cannot express our sadness in this time as the man who first gave us a comforting welcome to this beautiful country is now gone, but we remember that God is good. A humbling and eternal truth that babe and make have instilled in us in all of our hardships as trainees, with language and with being away from our American families. We ask all of those reading this post to say a prayer for the Shabangu family but to also thank God for being so good. We do not always know his plans, but, as make has reminded her entire family including us her children, He is good, and we can rest with the reassurance that babe was met in heaven with arms spread wide in welcome. The faith that the Shabangu family has is unshakeable, and even though our knees wobbled when we received the news, the faith that is pervasive throughout the homestead has lifted us up. We are continually blessed and forever thankful to have know babe for the time we did, and our hearts go out to his wonderful, faithful, loving family. 

For the time being the Peace Corps has moved us and all of our belongings back to SIMPA. Culturally in Swaziland when someone dies the make and women of the family go into mourning in the main house, and the men of the family mourn outside. A funeral brings together the entire family and all of the community as people come to pay their respects the whole week before the funeral. With the influx of loved ones and community members, all homes on the homestead are needed for the family so the Peace Corps made the decision to remove us for the time being and Grace and I agreed. We will stay at SIMPA but will return to our home for the funeral and then we will be able to visit as often as we wish.

We had a chance to speak with make this morning before we left, and I must say again that this woman's faith is unlike any I have ever witnessed before. As Grace and I silently cried, our hearts splitting for make, she reminded us that God is good and we are her and His children. She was sorry to see us go and was worried that this would scare away our American parents from visiting her, but we told her that without a doubt we would visit, parents in tow, next year. We told her how much we loved her and how sorry for her and the family we were, and then it was time for us to leave and give the family space. We said goodbye to all our bosisi, which was just as gut-wrenching as it sounds, but we left behind banana-grams, a sign we said that we would return and they must practice. Grace and I have never had sisters before but we let them know that they were all our bosisi now, and that we love them all very much. We love all of our family both Swazi and American so very very much. Remember, God is good.

...moves to the beat.

"To my mind, the greatest reward and luxury of travel is to be able to experience everyday things as if for the first time, to be in a position in which almost nothing is so familiar it is taken for granted." - Bill Bryson

You know what's a good way to start your day? Country music…especially if all you've listened to as of late has been kwaito music. I personally have really enjoyed our thishela’s collection of country the last week, mainly consisting of Long Black Train by Josh Turner and a few Dolly Parton throwbacks. Getting back to kwaito music though we went to the heart of kwaito music in Swaziland this past Saturday, Manzini. Kwaito originally started in Jo-burg but it has spread like wildfire ever since and is now a prominent component of radio all over Swaziland. Hipsters, kwaito, country, cowboys, traditional Swazi’s, all can be found in Manzini. The cowboys and country music are rare but trust me I've seen them. For those of you who don't know, Manzini is the largest city in Swaziland (if it isn't well that's what everyone would have us believe), and it is also the transportation hub for the rest of the country. If you want to get somewhere in Swaziland, odds are you go to Manzini first. This past weekend we went to Manzini to hunt some traditional wear for our swearing in ceremony (remember Manzini has a little bit of everything). Full blown traditional wear consists of 2 emahiya (lihiya - a simple rectangular cloth consisting of some pattern) and various accessories for women and 3 emahiya plus a lijobo (animal skin loincloth) for males. On our way to buy the materials we learned a lot about how to wear the emahiya by observing the traditionally dressed people walk along the streets with the hipsters and cowboys. Now, most of the female volunteers bought a portion of the traditional wear because it is not necessary to buy two emahiya, a combination of skirt and one lihya will do fine. For males, either you go whole hog or you don’t go at all. The lijobo is the most important part of the men's attire and one is rude/naked to wear a lihiya without it. That being said, the lijobo costs 400 emalangeni, so I settled for a modernized lihiya shirt, but Grace got a lihiya and a head scarf because she is married. There should be some interesting group photos from the swearing in ceremony, and don't worry we'll be sure to share! Now, since we’re already in Manzini I'll give you some additional features of this great little big city. We ate lunch at Thyme Café at The Hub, a Pick N’ Pay shopping complex with a nice pub, a bank, and a post office. Near The Hub is an agricultural supply store, one of two in the country that sell compost for new permagardens, hence our interest in such a place. There are also two malls in Manzini, the Riverstone Mall and the Bhunu Mall. The Riverstone Mall is a very new, very chic mall that we have not visited yet, but the Bhunu Mall is just about the center of the city and it has several great stores. Then there is the famous bomake craft market which is like a one stop shop for any and all Swazi souvenirs both traditional and untraditional, and a vegetable market which features some of the cheapest vegetables in the country at 3 emalangeni a bag. Nearest the market is the also infamous Manzini bus rank. The bus rank catches a bad rap from tourists because it is a busy place (remember it's a transportation hub for the whole country) and because you cannot go quietly through the bus rank like you can the rest of the city. As soon as you set foot in the rank you will be approached my multiple Swazi men speaking very quickly and gradually encircling you. You may even be lassoed by an arm around your shoulders. All of this is completely harmless because all they want to know is where you are going. Once you tell them they will kindly point you to where you should be, and usually about 2-3 guys later you're on your bus. It gets a little tricky when there are multiple buses and the conductors get a little more pushy because you're a fare that they need. If that happens it's important to remember that they’re just trying to get you where you need to go. The bus rank seems to intimidate many volunteers, but after finding our own community bus home on Saturday after our shopping, we are feeling more and more comfortable. Well, that's Manzini in a nutshell. The place where different cultures collide with traditional Swazi culture, making for an interesting little big city with plenty of places to explore. If you're interested in staying there before you come on to Ka-Langa to see us, you can check out the George Hotel, and as a bonus the hitching point toward Ka-Langa is just outside the hotel’s gate a few meters up the road! We’ll be happy to function as tour guides as well, we only charge a cup of good coffee at Thyme Café or Baker’s Corner!

Now, you know what's a good way to end your day? Hanging out with good friends. Grace and I threw our first Swazi dinner party on Saturday for our great friends! We came back from Manzini behind the main PC group because we wanted to see more of the city, and frankly because we wanted a little freedom as young adults, but that's beside the point. We took the community bus home and we cooked pizzas for everyone at our place. We are beyond blessed to have found such a great group of friends, and the pizza was a hit, as was the wine! Our friends brought Lindt chocolates, peanut butter M&Ms, and cookies over for a dessert and we just ate and talked, all thankful for a good moment of relaxation after all the PC training. We finished up after dark which concerns local Swazis because only people with “bad intentions” are out after dark. It wasn't a big deal though because we had notified all our families and I walked everyone home underneath a beautiful starlit sky! So there you have it, a great way to start and end your day with a little something to do in between. Lala kahle bangani!